Hello *echo, echo, echo*
Yes, I do realise that by now, the two or three visitors I had have probably given me up for dead. Apologies.
Has anyone experience with Nucleus? How does it compare to Wordpress?
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Look, a picture.
Not sure what happened there…. I kinda ran outta steam near the end and just gave up - ie. the sun and clouds. The bg is pretty lame too. ha ha ha …. ?
Despite looking almost just like how I had sketched it, there’s just something so amiss about the digital version.
I have to draw some pictures. And I keep procrastinating. It really takes away all the fun when you have to draw, and there are expectations on what and how they should be (although those are self-set expectations). I’ve been procrastinating from doing it for two days now. Can’t even make the decision on what paper I should use (is the visual diary too thick? will it scan too messy? is copy paper too thin? is it the final version or will i be doing another copy? too much fibre will be too smudgey? whole page or half?)
Urgh, just get to it you fool!
The electrician came, did nothing, then took a dump in my toilet. I cannot go into the bathroom for fear of death by stench. A generalised stereotype this may be, but why are all handyman so revolting!?
I am loosing chunks off my teeth. Life is not my friend. I want to kick it in the balls and spit in its face.
Holy crap.
Taken from my VOX:
At around 3:30am last night/ this morning, I was woken from my sleep by a loud "BANG!". In my hazy sleep induced state, I thought that maybe it was just the crazy antics of my loud neighbours. But then came a continuous crackling / clicking sound that drove me into consciousness and forced me out of bed. My initial thought was that maybe my metal clothes horses has fallen over (hence the BANG), hit a pipe or tube of the washing machine, somehow broke it flung it out and now there's water dripping and flooding my bathroom (hence the clicking, which could quite possibly be dripping, sound). Is that not quite an impressive deduction in a fraction of a second while not fully awake? But anyway, I was wrong, and when I got to the bathroom the sight was more shocking that I had imagined…..
One entire glass wall of my shower had cracked and broke!
The whole entire fucking thing!
On its own!
At 3:30am!
WTF????
So, there was a state of shock, then panic, then a wave of total and utter helplessness and misery of being all by myself and not a fucking idea what to do.
There was glass over the floor of the bathroom and the whole thing is still crackling very loudly, which freaked me out even more, cos what if it all collapses in a big heap of broken glass?
So….. I tried calling the boy in Canberra, which is probably a bit of useless thing to do, but that’s kinda my auto response in times of crises. He’s phone rang out…. like 4 times. Then I dug out the number of my agent for urgent repairs and called the after hours mobile, which went to voice mail - well, DUH! its 3:40am, what was I expecting? A little man perched by the phone 24/7? So I left a message, then I tired calling my parents. Just so happens they’re in Sydney for a swimming comp, the home number is diverted to dad’s mobile, which is switched off. I dialled mum, who hung up on me 4 or 5 times, became unavailable, then hung up on me another 2 times! When she eventually answered she said she thought it was her alarm going off and she was just trying to turn the phone off when my last call went though. OH-MY-FUCKING-GOD! I explained what happened and asked what to do, to which she said to just leave it til the morning, cos there’s nothing I can do at 4am. True.
45mins later, the mind clinching crackling sound subdued to quieter and less frequent clicks here and there. The whole sheet - less the bits on the ground - is still standing upright, which is slightly comforting. I tried the boy’s number another 3 or 4 times to no avail, had a cry on the floor, and crawled back to bed.
This morning I called the agent again at 9am, as no one had bothered calling me back, despite the panic stricken voice mail I had left 5 and half hours ago. I had to leave another message - at least with a human this time - as the property manager was in a meeting. She eventually got back to me, and even came around to assess the situation cos she was in the area, and also I suspect to check that I hadn’t actually broke the damn thing myself.
So the good news is, it will get fixed. But the bad news is, it wont be until Monday. But the good news is, someone should be able to come around today to assess it and hopefully take down the shattered sheet. But the bad news is I wont have one wall of the shower for the next two days and wont be able to wash myself without spraying the entire bathroom.
Ah Monday, something to look forward to and dread, as I will also be having an electrician come to fix my stove top - at 8 frigin am! WHY IS THIS PLACE FALLING APART????
P.S. I need to pee, but I cant get to the toilet, so now I have to run down stairs to Starbucks! #@&*$!#% indeed!!!
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Update:
The glass man came and took down the broken glass. He was a lovely fella, but boy! was he in serious need of a shower, or some heavy duty deoderant. I was trying hard not to pass out, while still being helpful.
I had to sacrifice a bed sheet in the process as he needed a sheet to cover one side of the glass as he smashed it all into the shower to be scooped up. It was a loud and messy process. He then duct tapped the edges of the frame - still with the last chunks of glass that couldn’t be removed - and told me to vacuum a bit so I wont cut my pretty little feet.
There will be no new glass on Monday, as he will have to order it and it takes around 4-5 days to be delivered. He will return in 4-5 days with the new glass and a helping hand, partly because the poor guy has a broken arm and a broken foot (bless him for still doing the job), and partly because the structure of my shower is such that the glass is ‘’partially framed'’, which apparently means a trickier job involving more than one person and a few tools.
In the mean time? He’s advice: ‘’put a plastic bag over the toilet when you shower'’. Err…… yes……
So I vacuumed like crazy, which is a big task as I have an aversion to vacuuming. But I’m still paranoid that I’m seeing random tiny teeny glass dust sparkles. I’ve washed my hands about 5 times, but still feel as though they sense little pricks. I rinsed all the plastic buckets and bins that had glass land in them, as well as the dust pan and brush. I vacuumed the bottom of the vacuum cleaner, then took the vacuum head out into the hall way and gave it a smack down on the carpet, along with my slippers. I will not be using the sheet on my bed again, and I’m throwing out the rest of my toilet paper as the rolls look to have glass dust on them. Slightly over the top? I donno. My body winces as I think about the bathroom. And now I have no toilet paper.
It was an assignment from last year that started out as a half decent idea, then half way through realised the actual product wasn’t turning out as nice as the plan, and at the end the last minute rush to finish resulted in cutting corners and leaving out some parts that fell into the ‘’cant be f*cked'’ category.
Spent today fixing it up (waste not lar?) and added: extra bit of content, a loading bar (which is good since the thing’s quite a sizable bitch to load), and a music on/off thing. All in all, took longer than I had wanted to spend. But then again, I was expecting to have a try, realise I donno how to do anything and give up. So actually being able to get it working is quite satisfying. Especially when I’m feeling rather rusty after 3 months of doing jack all.
My final file is messier than my usual standards cos I didn’t really have a plan of action and just kept adding/changing things on a trial and error basis. Cant be bothered with it any more, but I’ll probably regret it later when I go back to it and cant find my way through the spaghetti library and timeline. Also, I’ve had to listen to the music loop about 500000 times while stumbling around trying to get the on/off music to stop glitching. I think I did many things in less than direct ways, but oh well, donno any better. As long as it works aye? Well, I think it works….
* Better ear plugs to help sleep
* Nicer eye mask to help sleep
* Stronger sleeping pills/relaxants to help save the rain forest
* USB cable to upload vid clips from this:
The blog has been sparse lately because I cannot bring myself to write about the dramas that’s been unfolding. I have had to move house. My nearest and dearest has packed up his life in the two bedroom unit we shared and moved back to Canberra. I now live alone in a one bedroom apartment in the Melbourne CBD. It’s a nice apartment, but filled with my feelings of loneliness and emptiness. The some 700 km distance makes my heart ache – a twisted sick feeling like I’ve been punched in the stomach and want to vomit. I toss and turn in the queen sized bed we once shared, now too large and empty for my small frame, and end up weeping into my pillow as sleep evades me every night.
He told me that this will only be temporary, but I cannot see a perfect resolution in the near future, perhaps not even in this year. So since the distance between us can’t be reduced, I can only hope that the sorrow and pain will ease soon, because even I’m getting sick of myself. And that’s not good, considering now all I have is myself.
Christmas day, one of the very few days of the year when my entire family has nothing to do. Its 11:30am and I’m the only one that’s out of bed. Save for the booming voice of our overly zealous Italian neighbour, the house lies in a rare state of serenity.
If only they can rest more; slow down and relax more - take a holiday, have a break, or at least stay in bed for the whole day.
Many warm wishes for the holiday season, and a jovial New Year.
The last few days of packing and moving all my shit (and I have a lot of shit. how the hell did i accumulate so much shit?) to storage was totally ex-haus-ting! We did it all in two days between the two of us. I’m shamed to say that for the most part I behaved like the weak girl that I am and limped around lifting the light stuff. I told my family how tough it was, and my dad, who’s always giving me a hard time for my er… lifestyle of choice, jumped at the opportunity and said that I’m too piss weak and that I should be able to ‘’piggy back a fridge and run with it'’. I’m like WTF? Yes, if I was a massively butch weight lifter maybe! And the rest of the family laughed and made jokes about me being a super strength weight lifter in disguise.
Anyway, so I’m in Canberra now. And I’m so over being stressed out and busy, I just wanna sit on my ass and do nothing. I need a few days to recuperate. But alas, tis the season to be busy. It’s my grandad’s 80th in a few days, and upon my arrival at the family home, I was told that its my job to organise the cake and presents. Mum is sending me out to shop for the birthday present, plus Christmas presents. We dont celebrate nor believe in Christmas, but she insists that eveyone gets a present every year just for the fun of it. Joy. I’m trying to put off the having-to-leave-the-house-and-face-the-insane-pre-Christmas-shopping-world for as long as I can, but time is my enemy. You can see I’m beyond tired when I’m put off by the idea of shopping!
*Le sigh!* I think its also the unhappiness overload of the whole moving situation that’s making me feel totally bummed and drained. URG! I want/need some zest back into life.
Looking at the last post, nothing much has changed/happened. The intense pressure/stress of moving/losing has been my constant companion/demon. I cry a lot. I ask for answers. A lot. I’m yet to find any. At least not one that soothes my heart. Intense waves of emotions. I act like a mad woman, a weak child, an empty shell.
I want something good to happen. Please.
