Some less than perfect attempts at English I’ve seen around the place:

FAG Automotives
Longdo Edible (grocery store)
Free Everyday Cafe and Tea (its suppose to be Freedom…)
Da Xin Green Washes Clothes (a laundromat)
Dig Gold Hotel
Lebanes Food

I took the train from Ningbo to Hangzhou and back again, and noticed that on all the doors it says: Please Not Carry Risk Rank Ride. Um… huh?

The buses here come in air con’d and non-air con’d. It costs 1 yuan (1 Chinese dollar, which is equivalent to approx 1/6 AUD) to ride the non airconditioned bus and 2 yuan for the airconditioned. The buses with air are newer and have a display at the front, much similar to the ones on Melbourne trains, with text scrolling across advising passengers of each stop. The information is displayed in both Chinese and English, and the English goes like this: ‘Here Is So and So, Plese Get Out’.

Public toilets here have giant signs erected at the front or on the roof, sometimes in big gold characters, displaying the fact that it is indeed a public toilet. Some even have a star rating, eg. 4 star public toilet, and many have another sign advertising the fact that its open 24 hours! You see, most of these toilets have a booth at the entrance and in it sits the person who mans the toilet. He or she is responsible for keeping the toilets in order, collecting money and locking/opening the toilets. You are actually charged a fee for using these toilets, and when the guard goes for lunch break or leaves for the day the toilets are locked. I heard a story of someone who was locked inside for over 2hrs when a toilet guard went for lunch and didnt realise he was inside.

Speaking of public toilets, I highly advice against using them in China. My personal rule is to only drink as much as I please when I’m at someone’s house or a fancy restaurant where there are flushing toilets. I would much rather go thirsty in the 35+ degrees weather than have to pee while I’m out. It never ceases to amaze me how there can be so many different types of ‘toilets’ in China. In Australia the only thing to worry about is the cleanliness of the toilets, but you’re pretty much guaranteed a ceramic bowl with a flush. Here it can be anything from the seat toilet we’re familiar with, to a ceramic hole built into the floor, to a long trench in the ground, or something even less attractive. It may or may not flush, the cubicals may or may not have doors (even then, people may or may not lock or close them), you may or may not be provided toilet paper. So it really is best to plan ahead, face the day with an empty bladder and take advantage of every ‘5 star’ toilet.